Missing Chase Terribly!

This has been an incredibly difficult adjustment since Chase passed away last September. Although the entire battle was long, grueling, stressful, and exhausting mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, it just kept us going in support of Chase knowing that it was all going to be worth it. However, it was a battle that I never expected to “lose” or have turn out the way it did. Now that the struggle is behind us, the adjustment process never seems to get easier.

Not a day goes by without something reminding me about Chase – a song, a picture, a memory, etc. Most of the time, I’m able to remain strong enough to remember that Chase is in heaven being rewarded and shining down upon us; however, that thought doesn’t always bring enough comfort to overcome the grief, loneliness and sadness. The underlying feelings of loss seem to permeate everything we do and dampen any celebration.

I just celebrated another B-day last week and Barbara did a great job trying to lift my spirits. She’s such a sensitive little girl and I’m sure that Chase is proud of how well she’s doing. Nevertheless, I can usually see that there’s something missing in her life (as with all of us) although she’s doing her best to adjust and minimize the emotional impact. Barbara had her first swim meet this past Sunday and she did great – she was extremely nervous, but I’m sure Chase lifted her up (she remembers that he was such a champion swimmer and doesn’t want to let him down).

I’m looking forward to taking Barbara to Disney for spring break this coming week – the last time we went was two years ago with Chase. We’ll be missing him terribly, of course, but we’ll do our best to remember the good times and continue to celebrate his life.

Thanks for all the continued prayers and support! God Bless!

John Sammut